My boys. My life.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Healthy Baby!!

On the way to my ultrasound I was still a tad nervous. I've felt pretty confident that we would have a healthy baby but that doubt the past 6 weeks has certainly been unsettling. To say the least. Reading sad stories about babies with certain defects either not surviving pregnancy or past a few days in this world has been heart-breaking. We knew full well we were not in the clear yet. Dr. Wheeler, the perinatologist (high risk OB dr), gave us maybe a 2% risk of having a baby with a defect when we were in his office six weeks ago. We were mostly at peace because the odds were so strong for us and that everything else about the baby at the previous ultrasounds looked fine. But still... 2% is still 2%. Scared us. Humbled us. We prayed so many times in the six weeks. This experience has certainly brought us closer to our Creator.

During the ultrasound the room was eerily quiet at first. The ultrasound tech took various measurements. Some probably normal - hard to remember from a couple years ago. But several also of the head/neck. Baby's ticker was beating away at a healthy 152 bpm. Dr. Wheeler came in and they both said things looked fine. He said, "I don't see anything wrong." He affirmed that 2% is hard to be objective about when it's your own baby. Gave me a happy pat on the ankle and walked out. I looked at my dear, sweet husband and realized this is what true relief feels like. This is pure joy!
The ultrasound tech continued to look over our healthy little one. Got to the tummy/legs area and I finally said something - something to the affect of, "We aren't sure we want to know the gender." She just kinda laughed and said, "I can't see anything." The baby was breeched position and sitting cross-legged on his/her feet. Then Dr. Wheeler walked back in. So I then explained that we just said we weren't sure we wanted to know, so not to blurt anything out if they see anything. He said, "All I see between the legs is a foot." Oh, I got such a laugh at all this turn of events.

A month ago I could NOT wait til Feb. 21. Just had to know what we're having. Our hearts changed since then and we debated whether or not we would even find out the gender. We concluded we would take a compromised approach - have the gender disclosed in an envelope to decide if/when later to open it. I had planned on laying this envelope in the baby's crib. I distinctly remember chatting with a good friend a week or so ago, saying, "Wouldn't that just be God's humor shining through if the baby wouldn't cooperate?!" I almost hoped it would happen this way, but had my doubts. Sure enough, it did. And I couldn't be more thrilled. When my heart changed on this, I didn't want to be in the position of making a decision.
It's so intriguing to me that had we not had a two-week window of question, this would have been our first ultrasound and we would have never even known different!! Also, had that been the case, we probably would have wanted to find out the gender and would have been disappointed to not find out. Instead, I was finding myself telling the tech - it's ok. Decision made for us. Really I was kind-of encouraging her to stop trying to get a look. It's such strong conviction to me that God is ALWAYS in control of every single detail of life and His ways are so much better than we could ever imagine. I would never wish this scare on anyone, but it has brought us closer to Him, taught us to trust Him more, reprioritize what really matters in life... it's impacted us and so in that way, it has been worth the questionable few months we have with this pregnancy.

Dr. Wheeler said if we really wanted to know what we're having we could come back to his office for an ultrasound later to find out. But no. This was a pretty obvious sign from God that we are supposed to wait this pregnancy. And we are 100% at peace with that. My only curiosity is those of you who have waited til birth to find out.... how did you prepare? Just curious to hear stories about what it's like to wait since this is completely new, unfamiliar territory for us.

Hard to really describe what this kind of joy and relief really feels like. It's amazing! It's humbling! Such a blessing! All I can think now is, "Dr. Wheeler, no offense, but I'm thrilled I won't be seeing you again or coming to your office again this pregnancy." I'm sure he doesn't mind one bit. :- )


  1. Again, totally rejoicing with you guys! And I love that God (and baby!) decided that you will have the joy of waiting to find out this time around! Funny, at my 20 week ultrasound with this baby, we told the tech that we didn't want to know, and she was very relieved because our baby was breech, too, and she said that it is so, so hard to tell the gender when baby is breech!

    As far as the planning part, you'll be fine!!! You already have all of the big baby things that you would need for either gender (carseat, swing, etc). You already have all that you need for a boy, and you will find.... if you have a girl, people will LOVE showering you with gifts of girly clothes after she arrives. We couldn't believe the amount of pink that came home with us even from the hospital! I would have a few neutral, newborn sleepers and gowns, but other than that, just enjoy the waiting and THEN, THE SURPRISE!!!!!!!! I'm so excited for you, friend! You will love the surprise in the delivery room!!!! :)

  2. We had 2 girls and did not find out for our 3rd. Everyone thought we were nuts... oh, what will you do if it is a boy - everyone said?! Well, we didn't really mind - it would be fine. And by golly, it was a BOY! We were showered with so many boy gifts after he was born! And, just be prepared... it's soooooo awesome being surprised! Totally amazing! :) I am sooooo excited you will be surprised! And, of course, I'm rejoicing for a healthy baby!

  3. Thanks, friends. We are feeling so blessed and excited for our baby! It will be a lot of fun and special to wait til birth. We always said if we had one of each we'd wait to be surprised for our third. So for a long time we just assumed we'd find out this time. We have just LOVED seeing God at work in every detail of this pregnancy. It is seriously amazing! This health scare was... well... scary. But it has brought us closer to Him and has allowed us to really see Him at work more than otherwise. This pregnancy experience has just been awesome so far! Now if only July wasn't so far off. Feels like it is with all this snow. LOL